After becoming new parents, we often neglect two of the most important things: our sleep and our relationship with our spouse. While the days of two dozen roses, heart shaped chocolates, and fancy red-colored dates may feel like a fugue, Valentine’s Day can still serve as valuable reminder to invest more time and heart into your romantic relationship. Traditional date nights are not always easy to schedule around childcare. Here are some non-date ideas that will inspire you to reminisce about and rekindle the bond that is the foundation of your family.
1. Write love letters.
A handwritten and hand-delivered note about how much you love someone is vintage gold. A thoughtful ode to how great of a partner we are is what everyone wants for Valentine’s Day. For a fun twist, you can create a dedicated email address where both of you can send each other love letters, thoughtful quotes, or a love poem. You may even be tricked into feeling that this is more romantic than texting.
2. Gift each other phone-free time.
A digitally detoxed block of time just staring into your lover’s eyes and listening to their voice may feel so real it may scare you but in a good way. It’s a sensory field trip to the Museum of Natural History’s highly rated exhibit: a world before smartphones, when even the silence between two people could speak to you.
3. Dream together.
Putting your dreams down on paper and physically creating a vision board together is a perfect way to talk about the future you want to build together. You already have all the scissors and glue you need. Warning: this may lead to some serious conversations.
4. Read to each other.
After reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear, or Llama Llama on repeat for the 400th time, it will feel refreshing to read an adult book to another adult, and be read to. It’s a great way for you to relax and listen to each other when both of you are too tired to talk. It may also be the only way to cross things off of your reading list this year.
5. Play a sport together.
A little healthy competition on the basketball or tennis court may be the gateway for other forms of coupled physical exercise. Since this is a G-rated Little Wonders’ blog post, I’ll leave it at that.
6. Cook a multi-course meal together.
While this takes a little extra planning for the weekly grocery run, it’s a fun and more practical way to get a Michelin experience without waiting for a reservation. Feel free to outsource what you don’t enjoy cooking. Make it feel premium by hosting it in an outdoor space, getting fresh flowers for the table, and dining after the kids go to sleep.
7. Organize photos.
This is a great way to spend a rainy afternoon strolling down memory lane. You can pick out your favorites together and order prints to be framed. You can repeat this 2-3 times a year to keep the walls of your home fresh with beautiful memories.
If you are busy this February 14th, just make it a Valentine’s week, month, or year. Any day is a great day to love and appreciate your partner. And if you’re too tired, too preoccupied, or too whatever else to do any of the above, it’s also ok to go with the backup plan: Netflix-and-Cuddle (while the kids are napping).
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Blog written by Sudha Bhadariraju.
Sudha is a Pulmonary Critical Care Physician at Mills Peninsula Hospital in Burlingame. She spent the last 3 years on the front lines of the pandemic and now takes her first go at motherhood in stride. She enjoys Indian music and dance, cooking, and traveling, and is still trying to find room for hobbies.